I was married by a Judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.
You've got the brain of a four year old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.
Marry me and make me miserable.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.